So, how exactly do I bring that one up? Oh, that's right, I don't.

Yes, I know I promised myself that I wouldn't post any personal life type of junk, but this post has been writing itself in my head for quite a long time now.  I hate it when that happens.  Something just builds and builds until it gets to the point that I can't help but say it.  Unfortunately for me (and my, er, reader... Thanks love for being the only one to follow me) I can't actually say it out loud to the person that I need to hear it.

Did I really just miss an entire day?!?

Whoops.  Yes I did.  So...  do I really try to write a novel in twenty-nine days or less, or am I even more insane then?  Whatever, I am going to go vote, as should everyone else, and hopefully I will have decided by then.

PS- for those of you who don't know what I'm rambling about (which is probably everyone)-- www.nanowrimo.org

A few tips. For those people who want to be as cool as me, that is.

So I have been on this whole "get Brit healthy" kick for a surprisingly long time now.  And I figure, if I can keep at it for this long, considering my awesomely short attention span, I should probably hand out a few of my tricks of the trade.

Alright folks... Back me up here...

I'm going to attempt it.  NaNoWriMo.  For those of you who don't know what it is, check out nanowrimo.org.  I've needed SOMETHING new to fill my time, and baking gets expensive (especially calorie-wise!) very quickly.

Hell if I know what my novel will actually be, but I'ma gonna write one! (in one month or less!)

I have the soybean equivalent of Mexican jumping beans on my hands here...

On tonight's menu:  Baby spinach and strawberry salad with tofu croutons and raspberry merlot vinaigrette.  Okay, so the dressing was not my doing, I'll humbly admit that I bought it in a bottle, but it was worth every penny (especially since it meant I didn't have to do any mixing).

First off, about the croutons.  I could have sworn that the recipe called for pan frying them.  I had that damn pan piping hot by the time I found the recipe and realized that I needed to bake them.  For an hour.  Dinner immediately following work?  Yeah, postponed approximately one hour.  Whoops.  Still protein packed and deliciously worth the wait, though.

But, I also learned a fascinating lesson.  Get as much of the water out of the tofu cubes before you bake them.  Otherwise, once that stuff started boiling in there (meaning inside the tofu), I basically had tofu popcorn flying off the sheet pan.  Whilst entertaining, piping hot flying tofu cubes can be potentially dangerous.  Press your tofu, people!

And yeah, the salad equals delicious.  You should be jealous of my healthy right now.  Mmhm, healthy, I haz it.

My happy bubble! *boop* YOU POPPED MY HAPPY BUBBLE.

Okay, first, a deli rant.  I know pretty much every adult on earth hates their job, but...  Most adults (I guess unless you work for a tobacco company or abortion clinic) don't have ethical concerns about their job.  I do.  I don't like the idea of consuming formerly sentient creatures, yet, in my line of work, I have to help other people do it.  Gross.  Also, I hate that people don't realize just how unhealthily they are eating.  Not that I should be talking, I do have a package of oreo's (doublestuf!) sitting in my cabinet right next to my Nilla wafers (childhood addiction, can't seem to beat it).  Doesn't change the facts.  >.<

Also on my gross list.  1.  Olive loaf. 2.  Mortadella.  Olives and pistachios do not, I repeat, do not belong in your bologna.  I'm talking to you, you ancient, wrinkled, ham-salad worshiping hags. It's just wrong.  Also on my no list...  No, you can't get your ham shaved.  You know why?  Because ham does not shave.  If I set this slicer any thinner, it will be closed, but guess what, your ham is still not falling apart.  Quit your bitching and get some turkey next time.


Oh, and by the way, a disclaimer:  those who know me will know that I have nothing against tobacco companies or abortion clinics.  They were just two easy examples.  Now, on to your regularly scheduled food blog.  :)

First post! Yay me!

Okay, so not nearly as exciting as the title suggests.  Basically, the idea for this blog was centered around a realization I had at work a while ago.  A very good percentage of the customers that were buying food from the deli (sans sandwich meat) are single, thirty-something plus individuals who apparently cannot cook for themselves.  And, because I never want to end up lonely and/or spending entirely too much on a meal that is essentially glorified leftovers, then I need to learn how to cook. 

Don't judge the reasoning that got me here.  It is a very logical assumption that if I learn to cook, I will never be lonely again.  People flock to a kitchen that smells good.  There.  Take that.

Since cooking just seemed kind of easy for my starting point, I decided to take up baking first.  While a little more difficult than most cooking, essentially it's just a gastronomic chemistry experiment.  Mix precisely this much of this with that in this certain order and follow a few other variables and you should end up with an edible end result.

Well since I just simplified it down to something I actually understand, then I had to make it a little tougher.  If I'm going to learn to bake, I might as well make it interesting.  And healthier.  So all my baking from here on out is going to be vegan!  To any of my unwary test subjects, muahaha, I got you to eat something vegan and you couldn't tell the difference.

Besides, I've been tempted to try going vegan for awhile now.  Time for a new challenge (since everyone has adjusted to my herbivore-ous-ness already).  I can do this.  Baby steps!  Start with the baked goods since they're practically the base of my food pyramid while I have them in stock...!